Secrets in the workplace or between friends often happen because we may be embarrassed about what we’re telling the other person or worry about being judged. Research tells us we’re worried about nothing. (DOI: 10.1037/pspi0000441)
While we’re obsessing over the information we’re about to share, that’s not what our confidant is thinking about. They’re thinking about what it took for us to share this information. Positive traits like trust, honesty, and vulnerability.
In a series of 12 experiments, researchers asked participants to imagine revealing a negative secret and predict the response. They then verbally revealed the secret in person and observed the recipient’s response.
People sharing a secret consistently overestimated the amount of judgment they would receive. Instead those who heard the secret viewed them as honest and trustworthy. It didn’t matter how “dark” the secret was. The judgment was always overestimated.
Carrying a secret is a burden and we all deserve to be able to lighten our loads and reveal them. While it’s always a good idea to choose wisely about who you share your inner secrets with, don’t let fear be a barrier to honesty in any relationship.
HolistiSci 
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