HolistiSci

Relationships with those around us are what make our lives so rich. Laughter, love, joy, grief, and pain are intricate and necessary parts of shared lives. Like I explored last week, so much of the pain that can come from relationships stems from fearing their end.

But many relationships don’t survive their first ‘death’—a moment of transformation or rupture that feels like an ending. And that’s okay. Sometimes, allowing a relationship to die and walking away is what’s needed. People come in and out of our lives constantly. Learning to stand in gratitude for the time we shared and the lessons we exchanged can be one of the most valuable gifts we take from those connections.

But if you can make it through the first death and continue on, your relationship can be so much deeper. It’s important to see when things aren’t working. Life-altering growth happens when you recognize your part in it. People come in and out of our lives and serve as mirrors for our weaknesses, our fears, frustrations. They show us where WE need to change. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for those weaknesses you see, for the frustrations that the relationship brings about for you, the fears that arise as you watch changes occur or begin to see the beginning of the end.

Forgiveness is what clears the energy. It’s what allows for a new path to emerge. One that is more in alignment with what you want out of life and love. Sometimes letting go and releasing is one of the most powerful things you can do. It breaks down the walls of expectations that you’ve created for that other person and allows them to be.

I’ve often been afraid of fully speaking my truth in relationships because I don’t want to cause conflict or push someone away. By doing that, we compromise ourselves and create barriers to connection. Remember, if they are serving as a mirror to us, then we are to them as well. Not speaking our truth does a disservice to the other person in the relationship.

Instead of shying away from difficult conversations, place an intention before having them. Ask that your words be guided by clarity and love. It doesn’t mean that there won’t be conflict and that the other person won’t be hurt or upset by what you say. But it does create the energy for those words to be delivered with.

After the conversation is over, bless the situation for its highest and greatest good and let it go. Change is uncomfortable, and when we have those conversations, it can be a catalyst for growth—for both you and the other person. Trust that the words you’ve spoken and the energy you’ve exchanged are part of a larger process. Allow the message to sit, the energy to stir, and the emotions to surface so that healing can happen in its place. This openness creates space for clarity, understanding, and alignment.

Don’t be afraid of the death. Because each re-birth is more aligned than the next.