HolistiSci

This week in the DailyOm journey, I was asked to take a deeper look at work in my life. Only at this point, in the almost 42 years of my life, do I think I have a good understanding of what I want it to mean.

Work. That thing that takes up the majority of our time. Away from our families and other valued relationships. So why don’t we spend more of an effort making sure it aligns with our values and how we truly want to spend our time? As an American, I think the answer was collectively ingrained in me growing up. We work to build success and wealth so that we can live the “American Dream.” Owning a beautiful house in a good school system. Eating well and having access to all of things that make life worthwhile like healthy food and family vacations and good education to then pass those values on to our children and continue the cycle. Well, I think that cycle might have broken with me.

I took a totally different path. While I did go to undergraduate school for psychology and then on to graduate from law school, it all went awry from there. After law school, I stayed home. I was pregnant with identical twins and the prospect of getting hired or me wanting to continue working after giving birth to twins didn’t seem to make much sense. And from there, a clear career path never really emerged.

When I finally took the time to study and pass the bar exam, the legal job prospects didn’t align with my desires. Corporate law anything wasn’t up my alley. So I ended up in the world of higher education fundraising in basically an entry-level position. And now that I think back, I’ve always undersold myself in my career. I’ve always been capable of so much more than the jobs that I’ve taken on. I guess I always wanted to feel safe, never out of my element. And guess where that took me…to feeling constantly out of my element. Like there was always something missing. That fulfillment and soul-connected drive. That flow that I think everyone strives to feel but isn’t often able to or has the courage to find.

It’s been within the past year that I’ve finally started to muster that courage. Just six months ago, I decided to leave my full-time job as a teacher at an American international school in Conakry, Guinea to take the chance at a part-time job…because my soul didn’t leave me any other option. The year of 2024 put me in a place where trying to find alignment with my soul was the only direction I could take. And so here I am, working a part-time scientific writing job for a company whose mission I fully believe in and want to further…but that’s only part of the way. There’s still that missing bit…that part where I’m in the lead, fully choosing my path.

And this is where this course came into play. I’ve always felt the need to tell my story. That maybe my words can touch someone else out there and provide them healing or courage to want to heal and break through. I don’t feel like my struggles are any different from anyone else’s out there. We all struggle and we all hit rock bottom. And that’s where the beautiful growth has a chance to come in – in that crack of the false foundation.

I’ve experienced profound healing and liberation in my life. And I do believe that I’ve shown a tremendous amount of courage in facing the many challenges I’ve faced. I am ready to own that now. Not only during my time in the United States but especially as an American woman who married into an African family. My family always said they were most concerned about the cultural differences when we decided to get married. And they weren’t wrong. It’s been ROUGH at times. There are certain things within cultures that are essentially non-negotiables. And whether you can allow those things into your life is a challenge…..But is it really the allowing of those things, I ask myself.

Because what’s really been the most liberating part of my journey has been learning the power of accepting myself. And being unwavering in that acceptance. It actually forces the world and the energy around you to shift. You no longer attract those things you didn’t want to experience in the beginning. And that is power. Knowing that you can walk into any room or situation and OWN the energy. Being a victim is impossible.

And so back to the work journey. I don’t know what will be coming next and I know that my work path has never been a direct one. I do know, however, that my life has aligned in such a way through deep forgiveness work, that I’m setting myself up for “work” aligned with my soul’s purpose.